Is your child intentionally cutting themselves? What do I need to know?

After recent news that Zayn Malik left One Direction #CutforZayn and #CuttingForZayn were trending on social media.

A number of fans began cutting themselves and sharing images of it on social media.

This shocked people across the world and led to people voicing their anger, sadness and concern. Others either ridiculed these fans or urged them not to “joke about self-harm”.

Among these people were also those who could not understand why children self-harm in general or why teenagers would resort to self-harm over a band member leaving.

Henning Jacobs, trauma support co-ordinator at ER24, said cutting is not a new occurrence.

Parents need to be aware that children could possibly be cutting themselves.

“Teenagers have been cutting themselves with blades or knives for the past 10 years. After working with many teenagers who had a cutting problem I have come across two conclusions. The one conclusion is that there are some teenagers who cut to get attention and be ‘in with the crowd’.  These are insecure teenagers who need some attention and acceptance.

“The second group however is what could be described as the real cutters. Cutting is an addiction. Some teenagers become addicted to the feeling of cutting and the sensation of pain. When we speak to these teenagers we find they have some form of trauma or depression in their lives,” said Jacobs.

This trauma or depression can be a result of a number of issues such as divorce of parents, not being accepted by parents or the death of a loved one for example.

Jacobs said these teenagers cut themselves because they cannot deal with the internal pain and heartache they undergo.

“These teenagers will tell you that the physical pain they experience from the cutting helps them forget about the internal pain they feel in their hearts. They say it is much easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain. These teenagers normally do not get any support from their parents on how to deal with emotional pain. There is usually some form of family dysfunction present. You seldom find teenagers that grow up in a healthy and loving home who would cut themselves intentionally,” said Jacobs.

Speaking about the call for self-harm due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, Jacobs said someone could have started this craze out of hatred or anger, but is most likely an addicted cutter.

“The problem with a craze like this is that it might pressurise non-cutters to start cutting themselves just to fit in with the crowd or friendship group. Other teenagers however become so involved with a group like One Direction that they believe they have a personal friendship with them,” said Jacobs.

Many troubled teens find their identity and acceptance from groups like these and build their whole existence around this.

Teenagers take the “break-up” so seriously and personally and feel as though the band member has left them.

“This will in turn cause real emotional pain. They then resort to cutting themselves,” said Jacobs.

Parents

Jacobs said parents play a vital role in the lives of children. If a parent discovers their child is cutting themselves it is vital they help the child immediately.

It is easy to find out if your child cuts his or her self intentionally. Marks will be left behind.

If your child is always wearing long sleeves or long pants, even throughout summer, they might be cutting themselves.

“If you find out your child is cutting themselves do not burst out in anger. This will make the situation worse.

“Reach out with a helping hand and love. The first step is to determine whether your child is cutting due to group and friendship pressure or if they are addicted to cutting.

“If they are simply cutting because of group pressure then parents can help the child through support, love and guidance. However if the child is a cutter or addicted to cutting due to trauma or depression, parents must seek the help of an educational psychologist,” said Jacobs.

ER24’s Emergency Contact Centre can be reached 24 hours a day on 084 124 for any medical emergency.

Chitra Bodasing

ER24 spokesperson

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