Depression, stress… Festive season not a happy time for some … Be Caring!!

Family gatherings, great getaways, no deadlines to meet and just kicking back and relaxing this festive season…

While some of us are counting down the days, others are dreading it.

The holidays may be the happiest time of the year for some but for others, it is a time of sadness, loneliness and stress.

Some people experience feelings of despair or pain so deep during this time that they resort to suicide. Others become so frustrated or angry that relationships end in divorce or separation.

Many people do not understand why a person experiences unhappy thoughts or emotions during the festive season.

Henning Jacobs, the trauma support co-ordinator at ER24, said there are a number of reasons why people go through intense negative emotions at this time of the year.

“People with depression for example ‘battle internally’ and feel alone. There may be a lot of festivities and they may be surrounded by happy people but it does not change the way they feel. It is about what they are going through internally.

“People with depression usually hide their depression in their jobs. People hide all sorts of problems in their jobs. When they are on holiday there is nowhere to hide. Their feelings cannot be ‘worked’ away. They are forced to deal with their depression or problems and they often cannot handle it.

“During the festive season, some people with depression are also reminded that others are happy while they are not. The festive season is a time to spend with loved ones. It is the worse time for those who have lost loved ones,” he said.

Jacobs said that financial problems also contribute to depression or stress. During the festive season many people spend vast amounts of cash on holidays and gifts for example. Those who cannot afford to are reminded of their financial problems preventing them from doing the same. “Planning is a wise option, however, many people cannot afford to save money for the festive season due to tight budgets. Then there are others who spend more than they can afford to, putting themselves in debt that they cannot afford to pay back.

“Some people might commit suicide during or just after the festive season due to depression, stress or financial problems. Most suicides involving men, in general, are a result of financial problems,” he said.

While many women are more open about their feelings and problems, majority of men according to Jacobs, hold back and choose to deal with their problems in silence. “Men feel they need to be the strong ones. They believe that seeking help is a sign of weakness. I always explain to men that it is a sign of strength when they seek help. If men do not get the help they need, they will become more aggressive and might lose everything they hold dear,” he said.

Jacobs urged people to support where possible, and be more understanding towards those who are depressed or stressed.

“People who are depressed for example cannot just change the way they feel. Depression is a serious illness. A person’s mood, feelings, reactions and even sleeping or eating patterns can be affected. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months or years. It could have serious implications. Loneliness is one of the worst things to go through while being depressed. Supporting those who are depressed is vital. Try to find ways to help even for those who push family and friends away. Convince those who have not had the help of a professional to seek assistance. Appropriate treatment and coping skills can help most people with depression,” he said.

Manage your stress

Jacobs urged people to find ways to manage their stress as strong feelings of worry or anxiety can lead to a nervous breakdown.

There are a number of things that can contribute to stress during the festive season. “Some people start to reflect and think about their lives and that can cause a nervous breakdown.

“For some people it is the busiest time of the year at their place of work. Some businesses, such as retail and restaurants, are extremely busy during this time. Staff members work the hardest and longest hours during this season and that can cause stress,” he said.

Family conflict is also common during the festive season. “During the year people are so busy with their jobs for example that they often do not spend lots of time with the family. When they do spend time together during the festive season, some become frustrated and often fight with each other. This can lead to divorce or separation. This can be avoided by families ensuring that they spend time with each other throughout the year.

“If there is conflict, families should find an appropriate way to deal with it.

Instead of saying the wrong things, take some time to cool off. Have a sit down meeting where everyone gets their fair chance to talk about the problem and then list ways on how to solve the conflict,” said Jacobs.

He urged those in need of help to seek assistance from a counsellor or psychologist. ER24’s trauma counsellors can be reached by calling on 084 124.

 

Issued by

Chitra Bodasing

ER24 spokesperson